Is that your daughter???

This has got to be my favorite question. Ok please recognize my sarcasm! And I'm only prompted to write about it after being asked the umpteenth time yesterday It's one of those questions that more likely gives you answers about what the questioner is thinking. 

 I recall a friend of mine some years ago saying she wouldn't want to mother a mixed child because she wouldn't want to be seen as the nanny. I thought it funny and a bit extreme to think that way but now I'm starting to wonder how right she actually was.

Ok so I am black, my daughter's father is not so yes my daughter is mixed. But the fact that I get asked this question says they didn't even think of that as a possibility first. And it's a question that other parents of mixed children don't get asked.If you were to see a visibly mixed child with a non white woman, you would be inclined to think that was the mother. When you see a black man with a mixed child you would presume he's the father but somehow that's not always the presuming when you're a black woman. People think nanny. The funny thing is I mostly get asked by black women which I didn't expect. Most of us here are from The US and the Caribbean...Both parts of the world have blacks that are products of the African Diaspora. Ancestors brought to their perspective homelands via slavery. Over generations because of exposure to different races and cultures we inevitably would mix....in a variety of different ways (I'm going about this as nicely as I can). Some of us ended up with more mixed families than others. My point is that we are not new to this. So the lack of ability to come to that conclusion boggles my mind sometimes.

I mean are my daughter and I so drastically different looking from each other. While she really looks like her dad. I'm definitely there too. Right? I see it and I get disappointed when others don't. When I check out little me next to little she, it's pretty easy to see....I think.


Now when me walking down the street, baby in tow, you can see the her cafe au lait skin tone and loosely curled hair next to my chocolate sun kissed skin and tightly curled hair those differences are very apparent....when that's all you go by. It just bothers me the clearer it becomes that people don't really LOOK at us and rely mainly stereotypes first and everything else after. 


Hopefully one day I can come up with a witty or funny response for the question next time it comes up/